Abstinence The Best Policy?
by OzzyJ
Summary: Whatever happened to that portrait of Baltar? A short series of cheeky drabbles
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes: This was written for the LJ ar_drabbles challenge - the prompt was 'Abstinence' I thought I'd post it here as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters below – I am only borrowing them – and will not be financially benefitting from the story in anyway. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rated T

Abstinence - The Best Policy?

The Admiral shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he watched President Roslin who was perched on the edge of her desk, twist back to retrieve the report she had been telling him about.

He wasn't even sure what report they were discussing, all rational thought had left his mind once she had turned and leant across the table, her skirt riding up her legs, exposing the milky flesh of her thighs.

His trousers felt suddenly tight around the groin – abstinence was causing him to lose control of his lower regions like a hormonal teenage boy.

President Roslin stretched languorously across the desk, purposefully allowing her skirt to edge up her thighs.

As she turned back and handed the Admiral the retrieved report, she dipped her shoulders low enough to allow him a glimpse down her blouse.

A self-satisfied smirk appeared on her lips at his obvious discomfort and she returned to sit on the corner of the desk – crossing one leg seductively over the other.

'I've still got it,' she mused wickedly, but deep down she did feel a little pathetic.

A long period of abstinence had reduced her to shamelessly flirting with the head of the military in full view of her political aide.

Tory grimaced in the corner of the room, scribbling down the meeting minutes in her note pad as she tried to ignore the behaviour of the two most powerful people in the fleet.

Their whole 'abstinence is the best policy' thing clearly wasn't working and their flirtatious behaviour was really starting to creep her out.

'_Gods…just get a frakking room already…_'

Tory looked up from her notes when the room fell silent and she realised that both sets of eyes were focussed squarely on her. She audibly gulped. "Did I just say that out loud?"

End Notes: Thanks for reading :0)


	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes:

This was another entry posted for a LJ ar_drabbles challenge that I thought I'd share here too. The prompt was - 'let's talk about sex' and the challenge was to write a drabble **using only dialogue** and it is a sequel to Abstinence – The Best Policy?

It will make more sense if you've seen season 3 episode Hero.

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Laura's Revenge

"You sure about this?"

"It's the perfect place – nobody comes back here apart from Tory and me…"

"Tory?"

"She gets it Bill…its fine…"

"Ok…Well…Madame President where do you want it?"

"Hmmm it's bigger than I thought…"

"What about if we….shift the angle slightly…"

"Hold on, if I rest my foot on the shower – we can get it up higher…"

"Here?"

"That's it…that's it…"

"Good?"

"Oh Gods, that's perfect."

"Madame President!"

"What in the worlds? Tory…why were you banging on the door like that?"

"It's a bad idea! The press are right next door for the conference in 30 minutes and..."

"Tory why do you have your eyes closed?"

"I…Oh…you aren't…what were you? Oh…"

"Oh?"

"You were…mounting the portrait of Baltar above the toilet…"

"That's right…what did you think I was mounting?"

"…I…"

"Hmmm?"

" I…nothing…I'm…going to go prepare the press room…"

"Laura that was a little mean…"

"Well Bill, it's just what she deserves for her 'get a room' outburst last week…"

"That was embarrassing…but had favourable consequences…."

"Yes it did…besides…she'll leave us alone now for the next 30 minutes…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. So…how's about you and I give Baltar here a little show?"

"Shut the door Laura."

"Yes sir."

End Notes:

Thanks for reading :0) - reviews are welcomed.


	3. Chapter 3

This was written for another ar_drabble challenge over on LJ – the prompt was 'Behind the Mask', which I use here...in my own way…

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters below – I am only borrowing them – and will not be financially benefitting from the story in anyway. No copyright infringement is intended.

Abstinence Chapter 3: The Absence of Abstinence

Meanwhile, on a Cylon Basestar…

"Are you serious?" Gaius Baltar, who had been lounging on the red velvet chaise-longue leapt to his feet enthusiastically as D'Anna Biers came to perch next to him, a hand held computer console in her hand.

"Deadly…" She smiled wickedly before powering up the device.

"I can't believe you were spying on me – and in my own office!"

D'Anna lifted her gaze to his temporarily, quirking an eyebrow at the ridiculousness of his statement.

"Well," He harrumphed and started to pace the room. "I assumed that the newly appointed President Roslin would have swiftly airlocked every item that bore any connection to me."

"You'd think so…" D'Anna tapped buttons on the touch screen, "But last time I checked, the painting was still propped against boxes in a corridor on Colonial One. " She tapped something on the side of the screen, "I kept seeing pairs of ankles wander past…no conversation, very boring…"

Gaius stopped his pacing, intrigued. "When did you last check?"

"About 2 days ago…ah ha!"

"What? Is it working?" Gaius asked excitedly.

"Well they've moved it somewhere…" She tilted her head slightly, trying to make out the image on the screen – suddenly realising just what she was looking at. "Oh my!" She exclaimed and Baltar swore he saw the steely Cylon blush.

"What is it? Show me!" Gaius clambered back to sit next to her on the chair, "What's that moving backwards and forwards?" He snatched the screen from D'Anna's hands, accidently hitting the volume control – filling the room with panting and a very un-presidential like moan;

'_Frak me Bill, just like that…"_

"Oh Gods!" Gaius wailed, forcefully shoving the offensive apparatus back in the Cylons lap – the image of The Admirals unmasked, twitching behind ingrained on his mind for ever, "I'm blind!"


End file.
